“Healing From the Trauma of Infidelity” (for the faithful partner) (part III)

This blog is taken my upcoming manual

 “Healing from the Trauma of Infidelity” (for the faithful partner): a companion manual to:

 “Healing From the Trauma of  Infidelity” (for the unfaithful partner)

It’s important to realize that forgiveness is a process. Most people to not wake up one morning and forgive their partner for betraying them.  Forgiveness usually happens a little bit at a time.

It takes energy and persistence on the part of the person who has hurt their partner.  It also varies from day to day, dependent on what else is going on with the betrayed partner.

It can also be helpful for the person who has been betrayed to recall a time when they wanted to be forgiven for something they had done.  Remember what it felt like when you either were forgiven or when it was clear that the other person was not going to let go of their bad feelings, for whatever their reasons were.  Recalling when we had really wanted to be forgiven gives us both a different perspective and humbles us and moves us away from being righteous.

It’s also important that forgiveness alone is dangerous, that is forgiveness without serious change in a relationship is still vulnerable to further betrayal.

Insight can be an important tool in figuring out exactly what forgiveness means to you.