“Healing From the Trauma of Infidelity” (for the faithful partner) (part IV)
This blog is taken my upcoming manual “Healing from the Trauma of Infidelity” (for the faithful partner)
Forgiveness happens in small steps and should not be rushed. It does not happen in a straight line. Often, we take three steps forward but will suffer a set back; a song on the radio, a movie, or something said can set us back. It can be discouraging when these upset feelings occur, so please keep in mind that this “forgiveness dance”. n the end, three steps forward and one step back are two steps forward.
It’s important to realize that there are different degrees of forgiveness. Forgiveness does not have to be total. Sometimes even though you have not completely forgiven that person you are not constantly upset when you think about them. Of course, under pressure negative feelings might return, but then with some work you can once again get a handle on it and life can go on without the obsessing and having a negative preoccupation with that person.
One thing that is essential for forgiveness to occur in the case of infidelity is when the partner who has been unfaithful is truly sorry for what they have done and let the faithful partner know that they are truly regretful. In addition, for forgiveness to happen in a relationship trust needs to be established.
(For more details see the section on establishing trust.)