Five Criteria for Finding a Non Professional to Help You Through This Difficult Time.


This is the second in a four part series “The First Step You Should Take to Stop A Divorce”

 Two things I want to emphasis before I begin this article:

First, I am not recommending that folks have to find a friend or relative to help them during this time, this section is for those people who feel that that is important to them to confide in someone.

 Second, though I say it several times, I want to emphasize, friends and family are not in place of a professional, they are in addition to your friend or family member

 Here are five criteria about what to look for in a friend or family member that you select.

Pick someone who:

1. Will not tell you what to do, but will help you think out the consequences of your words and behavior.

2.  Will tell you if you are doing anything destructive.

3. Will not develop a grudge against your partner.  If you get back together or will not urge you “get even with your partner if you don’t reconnect.

 4. Will not act as a “go between” and try and talk your partner out of the divorce.   People can’t be talked out of getting a divorce; they have to see their partner make positive changes.  Trying to convince someone not to pursue a divorce will only make them angrier.

 5. Pick someone who will support you and boost your ego.  By boosting your ego, by that I mean help you believe in yourself as valuable person.

 As I mentioned in my initial segment, the first thing you need to do is stay calm and rational.  Often times having someone who is more objective can help you to get in touch with that part of yourself. 

 In my next blog I will give Four Reasons Why It Is Important to Find a Trained Counselor

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