Below is a question I got from my site from a wife  who wanted her husband to come in for counseling

How Do I Get My Husband to Come For Counseling

Hello and thank you for taking my question. We have been married almost 33yrs, recent empty nesters~over the past 2 and7 yrs, between our two kids; husband ha tremendous stress at work and has distanced himself from me emotionally and physically for years. And if that wre nt enough, I have several chronic illness, including MS and; am on permanent disabity. There ae other bits and pieces as well. But, I thought that was enough to overwhelm anyone in a singe question. I’ve been to counseling off and on by myself.My husband is very a
to therapy. I need to get him into therapy with me, to save our marriagbe. I want us to reconnect and try to find that love we had before. I want us to be together supportive of each as well as for our children as they marry and start their families!
Can you offer us anything that might get my husband to counseling for the good of us all
Thanks so very much.

 Dr. Marty’s answer

Hi Maggie,

Thanks so much for your question I get this situation a lot.  I’ll do the best I can to answer your question. I would approach your situation by you going to counseling first. When you come into counseling there may be things about your relationship that you have never thought of before that a trained counselor can help you with.  Also in counseling you can learn ways of approaching your husband that you might not be aware of.  When folks say to me “I’ve tried everything” my response is you’ve tried everything that you know; here are some ideas that you may not be aware of”.  As your husband sees you changing or understanding him more, he is more inclined to either go into counseling or better yet change his reaction to your response to him.


Maggie, if you go to the center of the home page you can take a look at the section that says

“Here is what I (Dr. Marty) can teach you even if your partner doesn’t come for counseling”  Also in the center of the home page is a four minute video that will also talk about what can be done if only one person comes for counseling


Instead of having a battle over counseling take the initiative and you go and see how you can be the trigger for change.


Good luck,

Dr. Marty

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