How to Rescue Your Relationship.
In this blog I will answer Jamie L’s questions to me about how to help her to save her relationship.
Jamie writes:
I’m afraid of losing the one I love dearly.
We dated for two years, then got engaged, and had a baby. My emotions went in an uproar after having our baby due to hormone changing and we started having more problems then regular. Well, my partner started getting secretive and hiding stuff when we used to tell each other everything. I ended up finding out something I never thought I would and now neither of us trusts each other. I am very hurt but I am forgiving, but it seems like my partner wants nothing to do with me nor says “I love you” back in front of anyone. I want nothing more than for us to get back to the way things were. I’m ready to be positive and grow old with my partner, but how do I get my partner to feel that way?
Dr. Marty’s answer
The place to start is by opening up communication between the two of you. Let’s begin by answering some questions:
- What things are important to your husband
- What things are interesting to your husband?
Once you’ve determined the answers to those questions, see if you can engage him in just general conversation. Don’t focus on the relationship and how he feels, instead work on the two of you just talking to each other.
Also think about things that your husband does that you appreciate about him, in addition think about things you can do that he would like.
In this blog I’ve mentioned a number of different things you can do to help with communication between the two of you which can be an important step to strengthening your relationship.
If none of my suggestions seem to fit for your situation then you might take a look at my “Relationship Rescue Manual” which was written to help couples’ to come together after they’ve gone through a rough time.
Lastly, if the suggestions I’ve made aren’t moving the relationship in a positive direction then it’s time to work with a couple’s / marriage counselor either with him or on your own. No matter what happens you must take the initiative and not be passive.
Let me know how things are going and we can go from there.
Good luck,
Dr. Marty