The Healing from Infidelity Manuals
Healing from Infidelity Manual (For The Unfaithful Partner)
Healing from Infidelity Manual (For The Faithful Partner)
Dealing with infidelity is one of the most devastating experiences that a couple will ever face. Unfortunately, it is all to common in our society. It is estimated that between 20% and 40% of all marriages have to deal with some form of unfaithfulness.
To help you if you are facing these issues I have included 4 articles below that will give you some ideas about this painful area.
Scroll below to read the following articles on Infidelity
Early Warning Signs of Infidelity
What To Do After Infidelity Has Been Discovered
Seven Steps For Healing Infidelity
Additional Resources for Dealing with Infidelity
What are the signs that a relationship may be at risk? There are two early warnings that suggest infidelity might be a problem: secrecy and emotional distance in the relationship.
The first early warning sign of infidelity is secrecy. Is one partner not telling the other about contact with someone of the opposite sex? Does a partner want to hit “delete” when there is an email from “that other party”? Is that partner not sharing the general content of the email exchange?
Sometimes the person who is having trouble with a relationship will look for someone to talk to, or one who can provide a more objective perspective from the other side of the gender divide (i.e. a man can get a woman’s point of view to help him understand his wife, or a woman can get some insight about her husband from a man’s perspective).
Even if there is no infidelity, sharing secrets about one’s relationship to a “non-partner” is a stepping stone to more closeness. It is one thing to share a specific issue on occasion, but another thing to have ongoing conversations about basic problems in the relationship. These discussions open a door not only to advice, but consolation, which then can lead to an intimate climate between the two. This can then lead to the beginnings of an emotional infidelity, followed by a full blown relationship. The bottom line: if there is a problem in a relationship, the issues need to be discussed between the partners themselves.
The second warning sign is that there is a feeling of an ongoing emotional distance from a partner. Distance occurs when there is not a sharing of mutual dreams and plans. Couples that don’t dream and plan together lose a sense of purpose and identity as a couple. This may happen when couples don’t spend time with each other or go on regular dates. Emotional distance also occurs when resentments aren’t cleared up and then begin to fester, sometimes for years and years.
Not all couples facing the above situations are necessarily having an affair, but these situations make the relationship more vulnerable to unfaithfulness. Secrecy and emotional distance can signal that a couple has lost some of its positive emotional energy and is moving in a very negative direction that may well end in infidelity.
Some Do’s and Don’ts
This section is designed to give the reader a place to start when faced with infidelity and will:
All of this material is designed to assist you in helping yourself during this difficult time. It is, however, strongly recommended that you seek professional help if you are dealing with issues of infidelity, because the issues are so emotionally charged. The decisions you make during this time of tremendous pressure will affect you for the rest of your life and will also impact your children and other people who are important to you. It is essential that you get the best support you can during this difficult time.
After discovering the infidelity you have three choices:
to deny that anything needs to be done.
to work on healing the situation.
Unfortunately, although there are a limited number of possibilities, it is not easy to decide what to do. While there are no set answers to “what should I do?” there are several excellent suggestions in a response to a letter from Mary R below. These serve as a good beginning when first handling the situation of infidelity.
I am a 43 year old woman and have two children who are 10 and 6 years old. I just found out that my husband has been cheating on me. I am angry and confused. What should I do? Should I divorce him? One of my friends says I should divorce him and take him for every thing he has. My sister has stayed with her husband for 15 years and she knows that her husband has had several affairs. If she can stick it out, shouldn’t I be able to? If I stay with him, can I ever trust him? He is a good father, a good provider and up until now, a good husband. I am so hurt I don’t know what to do. Please help me.
Perhaps the biggest betrayal a person could ever experience is discovering a spouse is cheating. Your emotions of confusion, hurt, and anger are normal and understandable. Those who haven’t experienced the pain of infidelity can never understand what you are going through. It shakes us to our very core. Here is my advice to you:
There will also be many other questions that you will need to address:
This is one of the toughest times in your life. I wish you strength and hope you realize that you are worthwhile.
You can find out more about Dr. Glass and her work at ShirleyGlass.com.