Positive Mindsets Make For Positive Relationships (Part 1 of a 3 part series)
This blog series will give a perspective as to how to develop a positive mindset, which in turn will help make your relationship a positive and happy one.
We all have voices in our heads. We have the logical voice and the emotional voice. Often times the emotional voice is the negative one. When we have a negative thought or reaction we also have a physical sensation that accompanies it in our body; if we are upset our stomach may hurt. For example – Joe borrows Mary’s car and he get’s a scratch on it. Mary’s first response, might be; “You idiot, why weren’t you more careful?” After Mary responds like that maybe her head starts to hurt from yelling at Joe; that response will probably not get a good reaction from Joe.
The negative thought combined with its accompanying feeling is a very powerful force inside of us and often dominates our thoughts, feelings and actions. To effectively relate to this negative force we have to look for our logical voice. This is not to say that we should ignore our feelings; however, our response should be driven by the voice that is most likely to take us to a place where we have a positive outcome.
In our example, for Mary to get the best reaction from Joe, she has to stop and think, “What do I want?” Mary is interested in getting Joe to get her car fixed and pay for the damage and she also doesn’t want to have lasting hard feelings as a result of the accident. In addition, she wants believe that Joe will be careful with her property. If Mary has a positive mindset she will get much better results, if not there could easily be an upsetting argument, which may hurt their relationship.
In my next blog, I will talk about two steps to use to get the voices in your head to help you to get a positive mindset. In the last blog in this series, I will give you my six step process to get yourself to behave in a way that moves you toward the best solution possible.