Part II – What makes a relationship resilient?

In this second blog in the resiliency series, I am going to give you five factors that make a relationship resilient.   Of course there are many more areas that are important, but if you and your partner rate your selves highly in these areas you are off to a great start


Here are five areas that will help determine the strength/resiliency of your relationship.

As you think about these different questions you and your partner give yourselves a rating from 1 to 5 (five being that you do well in these areas).


  1. Your relationship heals even when one person is mad at the other
  2. You can come to an acceptable compromise even if both of you strongly disagree.
  3. You like each other as people.
  4.  You enjoy being with each other.
  5.  You spend time with each other.


A note about your self rating:

It is rare that couples rate a five in every area.  The purpose of this self evaluation is to see where you stand and to be able to focus on areas that can be improved.

Warning: If you rate poorly with most or all of these questions your relationship may be at risk and you might seriously consider going to a professional, like medical problems, problems in a relationship only get worse and more difficult to fix the longer they go on.

Don’t get caught in the trap that I hear from so many of my clients when they tell me: “I’ve tried everything and that’s why I haven’t come for counseling sooner”.  My answer is: “You have tried everything you know, not what I know from working with 1000’s of couples over the years and from being aware of what works based on years of extensive research in the field.

Relationships can be wonderful things and source of love and comfort, but all relationships go through tough times.  To enjoy the benefits of having the benefits of a loving relationship couples have to be able to go through tough times and come through them together


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