The Brain and Successful Marriages Part I – Introduction
Successful marriages are ones where partners understand each other. Dr. Amen, a famous Neuro- Psychiatrist and author of over 25 books. In his book “Change Your Brain Change Your Life”, Dr. Amen has identified 4 personality types that are difficult to deal with in a relationship. I have given those types practical labels. Dr. Amen and I have also come up with strategies to effectively communicate with these personality types.
Amen’s Four Personality Types are:
- Deep Limbic System (The Individualist)*
- Basal Ganglia (The Pessimist)
- Prefrontal Cortex (The ADHD /Impulsive type)
- Cingulate System (Obsessive Compulsive / Impulsive Type
* My names for Amen’s personality types are taken from Ennagrams, a model of human personalities as well as my description of these types.
Below are brief summaries of these personality types
The Individualist The negative side of “The Individualist” is that they are: moody, negative, have low energy, and may even be self destructive.
The Pessimist The negative side of the “The Pessimist” is that they can be extremely negative, irritable, and withdrawn.
The Loyalist “The Loyalist” can be extremely nervous and also have physical problems that are generated by the nervousness (i.e. stomach problems), also avoid conflict, and can be shy.
“The Enthusiast – ADHD” personality
“The Enthusiast – ADHD” personality can be conflict seeking, Has problems with details, is either over focused or hyper focused, and is disorganized.
In the next blogs, I will give a tool by which to identify one of these types “The Individualist” and in the following blog entry I will give some techniques that can help if your partner has this type of personality.
To learn about the other three types I would encourage you to take a look at Dr. Amen’s book “Change Your Brain
Change Your Life”; also, I have developed a program using many of Dr. Amen’s ideas combined with other areas that I have found effective in helping deal with these personalities that I will be glad to discuss with you.
Remember good relationships are based on understanding and responding to what we understand rather than blaming and judging.