The Brain and Successful Marriages

Part III – Strategies to Relate well to the Individualist

The Individualist*

In this blog I will focus on The Individualist personality

type and  techniques for effective communication with


What the Individualist can do to work themself

Step outside of yourself as if you are watching from a third Work at seeing your partner’s point of view.

Make an effort to spend time together

Look for(journal) positive actions by your partner

Journal positive memories

Engage in positive non-sexual touch

Answer the negative self talk that you are having in your head

Look for  and journal  positive occurrences in general

Engage in activities that you enjoy and have mastery in

Engage in an exercise program

Practice random acts of kindness

Journaling  on a daily basis things you are grateful for

Remind yourself to engage in positive bids for connection

If your Partner is an “Individualist”

1. Encourage them to be more social

2. Encourage your partner to spend time with you

3. Touch (non sexual)

4. Help partner with tasks important to them

5. Empathize with their feelings

6. Reconcile that your partner will be based on their brain structure not be inclined to initiate social contact. You will have to ask for what you want. It’s not because they don’t care, it because of their brain patterns.  If however they are not responsive to your efforts, you need to be direct and specific with your request.  Be careful about being judgmental in your confrontations.  At some point, you need to decide when enough is enough and then take appropriate action.

7. Give reassurance that you are there for your partner

8. Make sure you spend time taking care of yourself.

If you would like to learn more about this approach

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