The Brain and Successful Marriages
Part III – Strategies to Relate well to the Individualist
The Individualist*
In this blog I will focus on The Individualist personality
type and techniques for effective communication with
them.
What the Individualist can do to work themself
Step outside of yourself as if you are watching from a third Work at seeing your partner’s point of view.
Make an effort to spend time together
Look for(journal) positive actions by your partner
Journal positive memories
Engage in positive non-sexual touch
Answer the negative self talk that you are having in your head
Look for and journal positive occurrences in general
Engage in activities that you enjoy and have mastery in
Engage in an exercise program
Practice random acts of kindness
Journaling on a daily basis things you are grateful for
Remind yourself to engage in positive bids for connection
If your Partner is an “Individualist”
1. Encourage them to be more social
2. Encourage your partner to spend time with you
3. Touch (non sexual)
4. Help partner with tasks important to them
5. Empathize with their feelings
6. Reconcile that your partner will be based on their brain structure not be inclined to initiate social contact. You will have to ask for what you want. It’s not because they don’t care, it because of their brain patterns. If however they are not responsive to your efforts, you need to be direct and specific with your request. Be careful about being judgmental in your confrontations. At some point, you need to decide when enough is enough and then take appropriate action.
7. Give reassurance that you are there for your partner
8. Make sure you spend time taking care of yourself.
If you would like to learn more about this approach
Please contact me at: drmarty@comcast.net or
(732)246-8484.