The Essential Guide to a Lasting Relationship. (Part II) by Dr. Marty
In this blog I want to share with you additional tips that will help a relationship to avoid pitfalls. Some of the danger signs in relationships are: silence, denial and unleashed resentment.
Folks mistakenly think that by not saying anything they are avoiding a fight. Thought that may be true to some times, unless people get a chance to say what is on their mind (in a constructive way) they never feel as if they are heard.
In terms of denial, if a couple pretends that there aren’t any problems or bad feelings, that denial just festers and then comes out when there is a fight. When things are not identified, people emotionally distance from each other.
In regard to unleashed resentment, what happens is that people have conversations in their head and they are negatively influenced by the resentment they are carrying around.
Silence, denial and stored resentment show how wrong it is to think: “What you don’t know about can’t hurt you”. Actually, what you don’t know can hurt you more, because it just simmers and simmers until it boils over.
Here is a quick test you might take to see where you stand with the issues raised in the last two blogs
Circle the number that is most accurate.
A. I usually deal with problems as they come up
1 2 3 4 5
Don’t agree Agree
B. My partner usually deals with problems as they come up.
1 2 3 4 5
Don’t agree Agree
C. I respect my partner’s boundaries
1 2 3 4 5
Don’t agree Agree
D. My partner respects my boundaries
1 2 3 4 5
Don’t agree Agree