Top Five Reasons to Get Pre – Marriage Counseling  (Part II)  by Lindsey Webster

Today’s blog is a continuation of yesterday’s article which will give the additional reasons why Pre- Marital Counseling is important.

3.    To learn communication skills: One of the main reasons for marriage conflict is a breakdown in communication.  Pre – marriage counseling will give you and your potential spouse the opportunity to learn the skills needed for effective communication. You will learn what it means to truly listen and not just hear as well as learn how to choose the right words when trying to get a point across.
4.    To learn how to resolve conflicts: Different people demand different things in a conflict. Some people like to take a moment to think before discussing a conflict, while others need to discuss the issue then and there. Conflict is inevitable in marriage and can actually be healthy, but there is a right and a wrong way to fight. Discussing what each of you expects from an argument will help you set up boundaries and understand the best way to resolve a conflict.
5.    To discuss your future goals: Do you know where your fiancé wants to be in life at age 55? If you haven’t discussed what you and your potential spouse want to do with your lives, both together and independently, your marriage won’t have a foundation. If you don’t share common goals with your spouse, you have no reason to work together and stick together. You may also not realize that you have totally different life goals until it’s too late. For instance, have you asked you fiancé when or if they want kids? You may just assume they do, but you may be terribly wrong.
If you plan on taking part in a pre-marriage counseling session, understand that the results may not be what you expect. This is a serious process, and the results should not be taken lightly. There have been instances of couples who were engaged for two years or more breaking up after realizing their incompatibility at a pre-marriage counseling session. Don’t let this scare you away from counseling, however. More often than not, pre-marriage counseling helps newly married couples create a stronger, better, more meaningful marriage.
Lindsey Webster has been a rehabilitation counselor for 15 years and also owns the site

Masters in Counseling. She likes to write about different topics related to counseling and careers.

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