Two Ways to Regain Trust After
Cheating On Your Partner? – Suggestions from a Marriage Counselor
I got this question from someone who visited my site and asked me a question about couples counseling which folks can do in “Ask Dr. Marty” section on my home page.
The question: How Do I Regain Trust after cheating on your partner
Dear Dr. Marty:
Me & my fiancé are having problems! I cheated on her in the summer of 2011. I propose to her in December! But she’s still bringing up the issue of me cheating! How can we survive?
Please help me, Aaron (Please note this is not the name of the person sending the question.)
Dr. Marty’s (NJ Marriage Counselor) answer:
When folks come to me for couples counseling I tell them there are two things you can do that can help you heal your relationship
and bring you to being closer with each other:
First, I would start with asking your fiancé: “What would make you feel reassured going forward?” In couples counseling folks learn it’s always best to ask the other person rather than trying to guess what they are thinking
Second, I would make an effort to be as open as possible about where you are when you’re not with her, your texts and your phone. The more a partner knows about you and what they are doing the less they think that they are being cheated on.
Your fiancé wants to make sure her heart isn’t broken and that she’s not being made a fool of.
Give this a try for a week or two and see how well that works.
When is it time for Couples Counseling?
Couples counseling is advisable if nothing you do seems to help, because there may be something going on that the two of you are not able to put your finger on.
For the you my blog audience
What would your advice be to a friend who said to you: “I’m cheating on my partner”? You can answer here or send it to me privately. The first three people who send me an answer today or tomorrow will get to pick one of my downloadable books for free.
If you would like to learn more about dealing with how to deal with your partner cheating on you or what to do if you were cheating on your partner I have written two books:
Healing From Infidelity for the Unfaithful Partner
Healing Rom Infidelity for the Faithful Partner.