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A Dangerous Myth for a Relationship or Marriage


The dangerous myth is: “We have two different personalities that’s why we can’t get along.”  While it is true having different personalities can make getting along difficult, it is far from being impossible.  Differences can compliment each other; for example a calm personality can get energy from a more emotional personality; on the other hand, an emotional personality can get stability from someone who is calm.


To add to the reality that different personalities can and do get along, most couples I know personally and as a marriage counselor are often opposite.  The reason the myth that different personalities can’t get along with each other is so dangerous is that if you believe that than partners stop trying to get along because the differences are “just too difficult to deal with.


The reality: It’s not the differences that determine whether or not a couple can get along its how these differences are handled. In couples counseling people can learn how to modify their behavior to be able to successfully get past different perspectives.  The key to dealing with a partner who is different from you is to be respectful and be willing to work on understanding the other person’s point of view and to find a way to compromise where both people feel they are being treated in a caring way.


“Shameless promotion” 🙂 If you’d like to learn more about how to do that you can read my book “Negotiation Handbook for Couples: From conflict to connection.”


YourMarriageCounselor.com – has couples and marriage counselors in the following  areas in New Jersey of: ChesterFlorhamParkSomersetNew Brunswick,   Upper Montclair,  Paramus, Voorhees & Chevy Chase, MD.  –

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