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A Dangerous Myth: If I Don’t Have A Problem Then There isn’t anything to Talk About in Counseling. (Part I)


I want to thank one of my clients for giving me the idea for this blog.  As we were talking during our joint session (with a husband and wife) one of the partners said to me:

“I don’t have any problems with the relationship so really there isn’t anything to talk about”.  I understand why the person would say that but there are some problems with that perspective.  The truth is a relationship is as strong as is the most dissatisfied partner (an adaptation from a chain is as strong as its weakest link)


When one partner is upset, for whatever reason, if they feel ignored or not appreciated, or upset because of problems with sexual intimacy, or in-laws, or whatever, the upset does not go away because if it is not dealt with.  In fact, just the opposite happens.  The person who is upset keeps thinking about the issue and their grievance may not come out directly, but under pressure, when there is a disagreement or an argument, then the stored resentments will come tumbling out of their mouth and be far more intense because they have been saved up.


In my next blog I’ll let you know what happened to that couple


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