Collaborators combine emotional awareness with problem solving skills.
Emotional Awareness
In terms of emotional awareness, Collaborators are sensitive to both their own and their partner’s stress level. They are always mindful of being respectful, as opposed to being judgmental or patronizing and are agreeable even if they disagree. The Collaborator is flexible and tries to come up with new approaches but actually just repackages the old ones. They monitor themselves as to when they are tired or upset and adjust their approach based on what emotional states they and their partner are in.
Problem Solving Skills
The “Collaborator” goes through three stages in working through the problem:
Stage I – The Preparation Stage
(Pre Commitment)
Stage II –The Negotiation – Commitment Stage
(Pick & Shovel)
Stage III – The Connection Stage
(Getting closer with your partner)
In this stage there is commitment from both parties, and there is a feeling that the couple has gotten closer as a result of the negotiation process.
These stages will be discussed in subsequent blogs and in my book : “Negotiation Handbook for Couples: From Conflict to Connection”.