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Code to Joy: George Pratt, Ph.D. & Peter Lambrou, Ph.D.

(Part two of a five part series)

As promised yesterday, we will be talking about the first step of the “Code to Joy’s” formula for curing deep emotional problems in this blog


The first step is to recognize the self limiting belief(s) we have and then what are the stories that we tell ourselves that have cause us to have these beliefs.

To help folks figure out what is troubling them the authors have provided a blue print in the section they call  “Investigation” and a check list for possible trauma and “mini traumas” people might have experienced in their lives.

I want to add I also believe that what makes us feel: unloved, guilty, ashamed, inadequate, fearful, and unsafe are the stories (narratives) we tell ourselves. We don’t even realize that we have these stories, which is what is makes them that much more powerful.

Here are the limiting beliefs that the authors’


  • I am worthless
  • I am not safe
  • I am powerless
  • I am not loveable
  • I can’t trust anyone
  • I am bad
  • I am alone

Here are some self limiting beliefs that might apply when there is infidelity in a relationship. The betrayed partner might think:

“I’ll never get over this”

“It’s impossible to get the picture of the two of them being together out of my mind”

* “Once a cheater always a cheater”

* As we hold on to these beliefs we are limited in our ability to rebuild a strong relationship.

*  In my next blog I will discuss the second step in the authors’ process, “Clearing”.


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