The first question to ask is: does my spouse, parent, or child have a Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)?
Note: The characteristics I have identified go well beyond what has been formally identified as Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The characteristics are distilled from my clinical experience of having worked with BPD in psychotherapy for over 30 years.
Additional Criteria for Borderline Personality Disorder
- Black and white thinking as manifested by: what is right and wrong, or you are either for me or against me
- Blames others for problems
- Feels if they are entitled to special treatment
- Becomes demeaning when they don’t get their way
- Emotionally disconnected
- Self pity
- Feelings are easily hurt
- Feels like a victim
- Distrustful
- Perfectionist
- Snobbish
- Restless
- Does not feel guilt
- Overly involved in details
- Feels slighted easily, misunderstood, taken for granted
- Compulsive
- Catastrophe
- Universalize – (e.g. this always happens to me; I’m never…)
These criteria are taken from my book My Spouse, Parent, or Child is a Very Difficult Person to Live With (Has a Borderline Personality) What Do I Do Now?
Someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is amongst the most difficult persons to have a relationship with.