Handling Rejection (Part 1 of a 2 part series)
The ideas for this entry material are taken from my “Relationship Rescue Manual”.
In this blog entry, will talk about apologies and dealing with rejection of those apologies. Please see prior entry on what makes for an effective apology.
Whether you are trying to rebuild your relationship or apologizing for something that you’ve done, one of the basic psychological issues is dealing with the potential rejection you may get from your partner. They may not be ready to accept your apology and you will have to deal with the rejection of your efforts.
As you are working at reconnecting with your partner it is very important that you have strategies to deal with your partner’s rejection or you might strike back or withdraw from them.
Research in this area has found that men are three times more likely than women to give up on a relationship and less likely to try different techniques to repair the situation. If you are a man, be warned not to give up, even if you experience rejection from your partner.
It is important to realize that each of us may be ready to forgive at different times and the forgiveness often occurs in stages. Your partner may be considering lowering the barriers but is still cautious and doesn’t want to become too vulnerable. You may want to give up just when your partner is looking for confirmation of your new commitment and change.
On the other hand, you don’t want your partner to feel pressured or worse yet, stalked. To avoid this don’t approach them directly, but let him see that your interactions and behaviors are different. Your partner will be far more impressed by your new perspectives and personal changes if they experience them and you have refrained from continuous badgering them .
So remember:
- Being resilient to rejection is important. The “race” can only be won if you don’t drop out.
- People forgive on their own time table and they forgive in stages.
- Demonstrate that you are sorry rather than trying to convince your partner verbally.
- Be aware of running, the line between being persistent and being annoying.
In part two of this article, on my next blog entry, I will give additional insights and tips about how to handle rejection.
There is addition material about having a good relationship in My Relationship Rescue Manual can be purchased at Amazon on a Kindle application or directly purchased and downloaded from me at YourMarriageCounselor.com.