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Handling Rejection (Part 2 of a 2 part series)                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 The ideas for this entry material are taken from my Relationship Rescue Manual.

In yesterday’s blog I talked about running the balance between being persistent, not giving up and not overdoing it and not making your partner feel smothered or even stalked. Below are a few more ideas about handling rejection.  I hope they are helpful for you; I’d love to hear your experiences, ideas and thoughts.

Additional Thoughts About Handling Rejection

It is also important to realize that if you don’t get the response you are hoping for, your partner may be “testing” (consciously or unconsciously) you to see if you are really committed to making a change, so it may take a while and continued efforts on your part before your partner is willing to accept your apology or allow themselves to reconnect with you.    Here a sensitive balance is necessary.  On the one hand, going into a situation expecting the best is a good start; but on the other hand, being able to accept the worst is also important.  If you don’t get the response that you hoped for it is extremely important to accept the rejection.  Remember, different people have different time tables for forgiveness.


The partner who wants to make amends is always more focused on the need to restore the relationship rather than negative feelings of anger, hurt and frustration.  The “upset partner” however, probably feels like they have been putting up with these issues for weeks, months, or even years and has reached a breaking point.  This person needs time to regain an emotional balance and it usually takes him longer to accept the repair attempts.


Even though showing your partner how you are changing is better than telling him, you will at some time, need to discuss how your partner thinks things are going in your relationship.  If your partner tells you they are not yet ready to work on the relationship it is best if you accept it with as much graciousness as possible.  Honestly accepting rejection, not faking it, is a very powerful approach.  Your patience can be a sign that you are sensitive your partner’s emotional need to have some space.   Again, showing rather than telling is a powerful way to help your partner feel closer to you.

My Relationship Rescue Manual can be purchased at Amazon on a Kindle application or directly purchased and downloaded from me at YourMarriageCounselor.com.


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