Healing from Infidelity (Part I of III)
This week I am going to dedicate my blog to myths about infidelity. I will be taking material from my book “Helping Relationships and Marriages Heal From The Trauma Of Infidelity” (For Unfaithful Partner).
There are many popular myths about infidelity that are destructive to a relationship that is trying to be restored. I have listed them here so that you can distinguish the myths from the truths.
Myth #1
If someone has an affair their marriage is over – False.
Researchers have found that only 20 – 25% of divorces are caused by affairs, and 75 to 80% of couples stay together after the affair is over. The real reason that couples divorce is that they feel distant from one another and do not know how to reconnect, and they feel so alienated that they end their relationship.
Myth #2
Most affairs are sexually driven – False.
People have affairs for emotional reasons. They feel ignored by their partner, and not cared about, and even angry, and do not know what to do with these feelings.
Myth #3
Once a cheat always a cheat. – False.
It may feel that way at first, but many unfaithful partners are ashamed of themselves. Often they are glad to be discovered. The affairs are a symptom of a troubled marriage and once the problems are related to the need to look outside of the marriage is eliminated.
In my next entry I will be talking about a myths connected to: trusting your partner; to falling out of love with your partner; and to “Emotional Affairs”.
See you tomorrow,
Dr. Marty