Healing from Infidelity (Part II of III)
This blog is a continuation of Myths about Infidelity. The only way couples will be able to cope with the Trauma of infidelity is to be able to understand what is actually involved. The more that couples understand the more equipped they will be able to get to a better place to rebuild their relationship.
Myth #4 – This is the fourth myth in this series.
I’ll never be able to trust my partner again. – False.
People trust in stages, so as time goes by, and they can see that the unfaithful partner is really working on being trustworthy by their actions, things can start to change if both are willing to put a concerted effort into it.
Myth #5 The reason cheating happens is because the person has fallen out of love with their partner. – False
In some cases people have stopped loving their partner, but sometimes staying comes from loneliness, anger or even boredom. These reasons don’t justify being intimate with another person, but it is important to understand the root cause, before folks are able to work on fixing the problem. If you just assume that there is no love, then that automatically may end the marriage.
Relationships that have been scared by infidelity may have a chance for recovery if the partners realize that the reasons that triggered the infidelity can, over time, with lots of effort can be effectively be gotten past.
Myth #6 If there isn’t sex then there isn’t an affair
Technically that may be correct, but relationships are made up of far more than technicalities. There is what I call an “Emotional Affair”. Emotional Affairs are very dangerous to relationships in that it is not only a physical thing, the affair involves feelings and even if the person hasn’t acted on their feelings, they have those feelings and a person can’t have a strong relationship when they have connection to two different people.
In my next blog, I’ll be talking about finding the right therapist to help you through the crisis of unfaithfulness in your relationship and I’ll be suggesting some additional resources that you can use to help rebuild your relationship.
See you tomorrow,
Dr. Marty