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How To Get The Most Out of Couples /Marriage Counseling. : How to make change happen more quickly; &  How to be a better communicator in your relationship.


Over the years I often get the question “How long will couples counseling take”.  My answer is: Marriage counseling is most effective when couples work at it between our meetings.” In this next series of blogs I will give specific tips as to exactly what someone can do to make the most progress in counseling.


I will give this information in the form of a self rating scale.  The idea here is to recognize what “the right” way to communicate and then to judge for yourself how well you are doing. In this section I will give three questions for you to think about and will add more questions in the next blog.


Please rate yourself in these areas from 1 to 7 the better you are the higher you should rate yourself.


  1. During our session I let my partner finish what they are saying  ____’

Problems in communication happen just because the other person doesn’t feel heard or respected


2. I talk in brief sentences and don’t take more that 4 or 5 minutes to make my point. ____

If we talk for too long a period of time the other person “tunes out” and they are not engaged in the exchange


3. I stay focused on one subject ____

Often times couple don’t stay on a specific subject and then nothing gets resolved and folks end the discussion because of time or because they are tired and nothing gets resolved.

As this continues to happens people figure: “What’s the point of talking we just both get very frustrated”.



Areas I need to improve in (just give the number) __________________


This material can easily be converted to apply to being an effective communicator “at home” (when not in therapy).

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