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How to Negotiate with Your Partner

Taken from “Negotiation Handbook for Couples: From conflict to connection
(Part 1 of 2 part series) In addition to this book being downloaded it is also available in Kindle Format on Amazon.

Stage II The Commitment Stage (Negotiation phase)

As I promised last month, for the next two entries I will be talking about the second stage in a three stage process for negotiation that I’ve developed, what I call “The Negotiation Stage” (Stage one is discussed in an earlier blog)

When you enter the Commitment Stage (after completing the work in the preparation [stage one]) you should have a pretty good idea about our own as well as our partner’s goals. In addition, you should come to the table with some creative ideas as to how relate to those ideas.

In this entry I will give you five guidelines to follow
When negotiating with your partner:

Guidelines for the Commitment
1. Realize there is more than one way to see things.
2. Value the other person’s value system. The issue might not seem serious to you, but it might be very important to the other person.
3. Focus on what your partner is saying rather than thinking about your answer or rebuttal.
4. Ask why (i.e. Why is this important to you?). Find out details – don’t argue or try to change their mind; concentrate on learning about your partner’s point of view and needs.

5. Set a standard for negotiation of Fairness.
When you start the negotiation, you can start by saying something like: “Let’s see how we can make this fair for both of us.”

In my second entry for this week I will give you 7 things not to do when negotiating with your partner

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