“How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age” by Dale Carnegie and Associates. (Part II)
Because I think there is a lot to be gotten from “How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age”
I want to include a few more of the tips / suggestions that are offered.
The book suggests “Begin in a friendly way”, to that suggestion I would encourage you (the speaker) to listen to the sound of your voice. Is your tone harsh; is it rushed or is it interested in the other persons’ response?
The way the brain works and in terms of common sense, we tend to respond based on how we are approached. Also research about relationships, has found that what has been termed “a soft start up”, (meaning that even if you are upset, you don’t jump down the other person’s throat) will generate far better communication than a “hard start up”.
The book talks about avoiding arguments. This is an obvious bit of advise and yet how often do we get into heated disagreements.
My rule is the hotter the conversation the cooler the results. If you find yourself in an argument realize that you have already lost. When engaged in an argument, people rarely say, “I’m so sorry I know I was completely wrong and you were totally right. You can’t argue someone into agreement.
When you are involved in an argument, the best strategy is to disengage and calm down and then re approach the person and the situation in a different way. Of course there are many steps if figuring out how to re approach to learn what they are you might want to take a look at:
1. “How to Win Friends and Influence People in the Digital Age” by Dale Carnegie and Associates; or
2. Negotiation Handbook for Couples; from conflict to connection by yours truly. Dr. Marty