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In You I Trust

“In the Essential Guide to a Lasting Marriage” I have a chapter I call “In You I Trust”.

When I talk about trust in a relationship the first thing people often think about is cheating.  Can I trust that my partner will be faithful to me?  So many movies, T.V. shows, and books are filled with couples having affairs.  Unfortunately, it’s all too common.  In this blog I will deal with trust on several other levels and in future blogs I will dedicate a lot of time to dealing with infidelity as separate topic on its own.  Today I will talk about three very different trust issues.


Can you trust yourself to love well?

The first question about trust is can you trust yourself to love well, by that I mean, do you know how to love your partner in the way they want to be loved?  If you asked your partner: “How good a job is I doing in making you feel loved?”  What grade would you get?


Can you trust your responses when you are angry at your partner?

The next trust question is: “Do you trust yourself not to be hurtful when you feel upset with your partner? Can you stay away from degrading your partner even when you are hurt or angry?  Partners remember the nasty words that are said during a fight longer than they remember what the fight was about.


Can You Trust Yourself in a Crisis?

The last trust question is: Can you trust your partner to be there for you in difficult times?  How partners handle crisis have tremendous impact on the strength of a relationship.

Handling crisis well has a far more positive impact than taking a vacation together, or what gifts you give each other. If partners are supportive of each other, “they have each other’s back” in upsetting times, they feel closer to them and couples have more of a positive bond after the crisis has passed.

Partners never forget what the other person has or has not done during dark times.  After a crisis partners have either resentment or a stronger love.    Making sure that you are there for your partner when there are difficult times goes a long way to having a positive lasting relationship.


If you liked the entries this week, I have good news for you, I will in the weeks to come give,  I will share more material that I have covered in “The Essential Guide To A Lasting Marriage”, for now we’ll say good bye and next week I will be talking about other issues.

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