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Motivation, the Key to Change (Part of I of a II part article)

This week’s entries are about change. The first step of change is being motivated.  I have people call me up all the time and want help with an issue and then they say:

* “I can only come in between 6 and 8 pm”

* “I can only travel 15 minutes”, and

* “I can’t afford to come without insurance coverage”.

Now I understand that each of these issues are understandable, but what would you say if:

Your child was sick, or you broke your arm, or you have a tooth ache? Which of the three responses would you tell the doctor?  I have had people who had limited funds, or had to leave work early, or traveled for well over an hour come for counseling.  The folks who have the best chance of success are those who they will do whatever it takes.

Here is the basic question that some one who is thinking about change should answer:

How much would I like something to be different and how much am I willing to do things differently?

In my work with people dealing with: anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, trauma, and addictions (see drmartytashman.com for more details)


Here are the resistant answers that I get during therapy:

  1. I’ve tried this before.

A Variation: I done everything

  1. I just can’t get myself to do what you suggest.
  2. I’m too busy.
  3. I’m too tired
  4. It isn’t that easy

Just for the heck of it, notice what your “resistance self talk” is.

In the next blog I’m going to give you a two step exercise to do that can give you some awareness about how motivated you really are to change.


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