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Question from Blog reader: Do I Stay or Go?


I have. been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years in the beginning

We had our problems but for the last 2 and half years its been amazing

I am currently on birth control I have anxiety problems. One day I

woke up and felt different I have no emotions.towards.my bf I started

getting  panic  attacks thinking do I still love my boyfriend and I would cry

and cry because its not that I want to feel this way I have a promise ring he

gave.me and we talk about marriage I know I love him but the lack of emotion is worrying me I don’t want to give up.I do have a lot of stress from.schoolas I am graduating from a university this quarter



Hi Jenny,

Congratulations on your upcoming graduation.


It’s hard to know what’s going on without talking to you. Off the top of my head (there may be other issues)

I can think of two possibilities:

1. There is something that is going on between the two of you that is very upsetting and you are not in touch with it.


2. There is a part of you that thinks you don’t deserve to have your boyfriend and that the better he is the less you deserve him.


Let me know if you can connect with either of these possibilities.


You might consider seeing a therapist to help you to sort out things.  My guess is that with all that is going on in your head it’s hard to think of anything else.

It’s bad enough that you are going through what you are going through with this unhappy relationship, don’t let this go on forever and ruin you life because that’s all you can think of.


It will be very difficult to do but for your own sake, let alone for the relationships’ sake, you need to talk with someone to get clarity on what’s going on with you to help with deciding what you want to do and finally get support to help you carry out your plan.


Your job, at this point, is to figure out if you want to work on the relationship and do  whatever it takes to help things come together with the relationship or to find the strength to let go and move on


This is not about your boyfriend changing as much is it is about you being committed to following through on your decision.



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