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Resilience and Relationships (part I of II)

Dr.s’ Robert Brooks & Sam Goldstein in their book “The Power of Resilience” believe that to bounce back from difficult times, people need to have positive scripts; that is, learning to say positive rather than negative things to themselves. The idea of positive scripts also applies to relationships.  Positive scripts are an important factor in helping couples to develop a strong relationship that can handle difficult times.


Here are four steps from Brooks and Goldstein’s book that I have adapted that apply to having a resilient relationship; these steps can be used to change scripts from negative to positive interactions:

* Become aware of the negative things you are telling yourself about your partner.


* Set goals for yourself in terms of how you are going to talk to your partner about difficult issues


* Create new scripts for yourself about how you think about your  partner


* Pick the script that you think will help you the most in connecting with your partner.


In the next blog I will suggest three additional steps that can be used to help couples feel closer to each other.



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