Responding to a Difficult Partner’s Nastiness
Another situation that Difficult Partners present is that they can be very nasty to their partner. In this section I will deal with responding to that nastiness in a constructive way
To be most effective with your partner’s nastiness it’s important to stop your “child self” (explanation of this idea is in the prior section) from being nasty back.
There are several constructive responses:
1. “What’s going on? Why you so sharp with me?”
It is vital that this is said not in a loud or angry way, but with a firm tone. How you say something very much influences how your partner will “hear” what you are saying.
2. Another possible constructive response is:
“When you talk to me like that I don’t want to have anything to do with you. I’ll be glad to talk when we can discuss things without an edge” Again tone is important.
You are setting consequences for being spoken to in a nasty tone; that is you won’t talk with them unless they speak to you in a more pleasant less harsh way.
The prior two sections give examples of ways to respond when your partner is being difficult, if you have some specific examples that you would like me to relate to please email me @firstname.lastname@example.org
In the next section I will address how Difficult Partners may respond to the strategies that I’ve described in the previous two sections.