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The How of Happiness –Dealing with Forgiveness (Part I)

 I am discussing forgiveness, in blogs that are addressing happiness because not being able to forgive is a real barrier to being happy.  Being a marriage /couples counselor the issue of forgiveness comes up a great deal.

 One of the reasons people don’t forgive is because they feel that if they forgive their partner they will be vulnerable.   I have found that people connect forgiveness with forgetting.  It can be a bad idea for someone to totally forget when they have been wronged, because we need to learn from our experience and not make the same mistakes.

 Forgiveness can be more powerful for the person that is forgiving than the person who is being forgiven.  Holding a grudge takes a great deal of negative energy.  It is also is a major block in having an intimate relationship whether it is with a family member (i.e. parent, child, cousin) or with a partner.

In my next blog I will discusses a variety of different strategies to help people being able to forgive.  I will share three that Dr. Lubenski mentions in her book “The How of Happiness and also one from a famous expert in the field of Marriage Counseling, Dr. John Gottman

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