The Impact Siblings Have on Our Life (Part II)
Dr. Safer talks about reaching out to the brothers and sisters and reconnecting with the sibling who was struggling with the difficulty (i.e. addiction, illness, or being the black sheep). She believes that parents often favor one child over another. Sometimes the child with the disability or problem will get more attention or sometimes one child will be the “black sheep” and be rejected, in any event it makes for serious imbalance in the relationship between parent and children.
I am discussing the issue of being favored between siblings, not because I agree with Dr. S’s thoughts (though to some degree I do) but to open up thought and discussion about this subject. I have often times found sibling issues to come up during therapy. It may effect a person individually or may even effect a relationship.
Of course even the best efforts to reconnect may not work out, but ignoring that parents have and show their preferences can cause damage to siblings for their entire lives, and relating to the situation may help many people not only to avoid a tremendous amount of emotional pain, but develop an important supportive resource.
In my last blog in this series I will talk about what Dr. Safer thinks the best way to relate to this issue and why this issue is so wide spread.