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Twelve Things You Can Do to Get The Most Out of Couples / Marriage Counseling (part IV of IV)

(Note the numbering begins at “10” because it picks up from the previous blog.) This is the last in the series of things you can do to help therapy progress the most quickly.


10. Resist the temptation to point at the other persons’ outburst and hold it against them during therapy.  During our work together we can talk about your feelings  of anger and hurt and figure out the best way to handle your partner’s response.  When I hear someone got angry I think about how hurt and upset they feel.  It’s not about being right or wrong it’s about being able to communicate in a way that you can really hear each other.


11. Judge progress by how much you are doing to help the relationship not how much your partner is doing. You can’t control your partner’s behavior you can only   control your own actions.


12. Ask yourself how well you negotiate with your partner.  Most couples don’t know how to negotiate,which is why I wrote: “Negotiation Handbook For  Couples” from conflict to connection. This is my favorite of the books that I have written, I would recommend that you get the book and then practice applying the material


These blogs give you a blue print of what can be done. Even if we can’t do everything, the more that we can do, the better are our chances of helping the relationship heal and become a healthy one.



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