Marriage counseling is a process designed to help couples build a stronger, healthier relationship. While it’s commonly known to focus on communication and healing, here are some additional points to consider about the process, what it entails, and what makes it successful:
- A High Success Rate: Research shows that 78% of people in counseling tend to return to a more constructive relationship. People often want to do the right thing but lack the “how-to” knowledge, and a good counselor’s job is to teach them respectful and constructive ways to interact.
- The Power of One: If one partner is reluctant to attend counseling, the other can start the process on their own. By demonstrating positive changes and showing they care, they can often influence their partner to join later. This is based on the idea that when one person lets go of the tension, the dynamic can shift for the better. The crucial part is to show, not just tell, your partner that you have changed.
- The Importance of “Homework”: The length of therapy is directly related to how actively couples engage in the work between sessions. This “homework” can include things like spending time together, surprising each other, and being intimate. The more people are willing to make changes outside of the session, the more quickly they will see results.
- The Dangers of Leaving Unresolved Issues: It is important to realize that breaking up is not the answer. If couples don’t resolve their issues before ending a relationship, they are likely to take the same problems with them into the next one. The solution is to work with the relationship you have and to own your own responsibility for your actions.
- Beyond the Office: The meaning of any communication is how it’s heard, not what’s intended. A counselor’s role is to provide a safe atmosphere where couples can say things without fear of reprisal, leading to a better understanding of what was truly meant.
- The Convenience of Virtual Counseling: One of the biggest obstacles to counseling is a lack of time. Virtual therapy helps solve this problem by making it convenient to meet regularly from almost anywhere, such as your living room or car. This consistency is vital for making progress.
- Therapy Starts Before the First Session: The counselor asks couples to rehearse the session beforehand to prioritize what’s important. This negotiation process can be a form of therapy in itself, as it requires partners to communicate and deal with different perspectives before the session even begins.
- Skills You Will Learn: Counseling teaches valuable skills like emotional regulation—learning to calm yourself down when you’re upset. You will also learn self-awareness, self-control, empathy, and how to give your partner the benefit of the doubt. The goal is to make your partner feel better, rather than just winning an argument
