“What’s Your EQ?
The research about the impact of feelings on relationships has been done with thousands of couples who have been helped to both improve normal relationships and repair damaged ones, the key to opening the door for reconnection is known to us as Emotional Intelligence!
My own experience is that during counseling sessions is when I ask a couple about any fights or arguments they may have had since we last met. On a regular basis, one of them, recalls that they had had a fight where both of them were upset, but both of them are hard pressed to remember what the fight was about, folks remember the feelings much more than they recall the details of the conflict. Has it ever happened to you that you remember being upset much more easily than the specifics of the situation?
Join me on our blog for material that will go into detail about how Emotional Intelligence can heal and improve your relationship.
A place to start is to take this self rating quiz
Rate yourself on a scale of 1 – 7
I understand my emotions
1……2………3……….4…….5……..6……..7
Very little A great deal
I can control them so they don’t do more damage than healing.
1……2………3……….4…….5……..6……..7
Very little A great deal
I am able to express my feelings effectively
1……2………3……….4…….5……..6……..7
Rarely Often
I understand my partner and what really is going on with them. I am able to express my feelings effectively.
1……2………3……….4…….5……..6……..7
Rarely Often
This is the area that are couple’s biggest blind spots. Over 30 years as a marriage counselor and extensive research says that over 60% over estimate their ability to understand their partner. As you learn how to really understand what’s really going on with your partner
you will be more able to:
Influence your partner
Reduce arguments and lessen their intensity and how long they last.
Feel understood yourself by your partner
Feel closer to your partner
Key:
0 – 7 total – low E.I.
8 – 16 total – Moderate E.I.
17- 24 total – High E.I.
(Developing an emotional vocabulary)
(Figuring out what drives those emotions)
(Self Control)
(Communication)
(This is the hard to do especially if you are upset with your partner)
Lot’s more to say about emotional intelligence, but will save that for when we meet. A relationship that has a high E.I. is a road map to help couples take the right
path to connected loving relationship.